FoodCULT: Back on the wagon. Because, reasons.


Since I finally have my shiny Thanks President Obama! Health Insurance card, I’ve been going to see All The Doctors. I was really fortunate to find a great local doc who is a conventional MD and also a naturopathic doctor.

I like his “let’s treat the body like the interconnected series of systems that it is and not like disassociated parts without a person attached” thinking. Even if it means that I’ll be spending the next unspecified number of months eating a severely limited diet.

I know that I will be allowed to relax eventually, but I tell ya, this morning I’m looking at my lemon water (detoxifying) and my unsweetened herbal tea (just fucking depressing) and feeling like “eventually” is code for “you will never get a lovely cup of rich, creamy, honey-sweetened, locally roasted coffee ever again.”

Plus it’s the height of stone fruit season here in the Valley and he said “no peaches.”

Which is when I said, “ARE YOU HIGH?”

There are murky grey areas here. Tomato season is coming. Technically it’s a fruit. What about plantain?  Plantain is basically banana and bananas aren’t allowed until Phase 3 – “maintenance” and they are listed as “limited.”

Limit plantain? Is this possible?

So. Many. Questions.

Hello, First World Problems…

About Maia Rainwood

Owner and Maker at Maia Rainwood Design. Wearable art for wise women, birth keepers, witches, and world-builders.
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4 Responses to FoodCULT: Back on the wagon. Because, reasons.

  1. cat says:

    Hillarious post! But sounds like you have a great doctor and congrats to you and fellow countrymen and women for voting in Obama and his humane health policies. (From an Aussie with Medicare)

    • Rainy says:

      Thank you! I find it hilarious to watch the Right trying to blame him for everything from global warming to the Iraq War. Just super grateful for health insurance and cramming all the doctor visits in now in case the next President decides to gut the ACA entirely.

  2. Bjo Trimble says:

    Hey, whining is permitted on your own site, especially if it’s as creative and funny as you make it. My reaction to being “temporarily” denied coffee was far more drama diva (and I’m sure far less amusing, especially to my family). Go for it, and feel free to share!

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