The rain is coming down hard and cold outside, and I am warm and snug in Casa Fabulous, staring anxiously at my bead order from Fire Mountain.
The future is really, really scary. There’s a lot going on here at the Honey & Ollie studio. Tools arriving, beads and wire and supplies. Classes ongoing, workshops in development, legal documents being filed (I am now an LLC! OMG!), taxes and licenses being figured out. I am awash in ideas, and some days I feel like I am drowning. I am realizing that I have so much to learn and that there is so much at stake with this venture. There are no guarantees. Ever since I really committed to this course of action, ever since I admitted to myself that going into nursing or dietetics (what I’ve spent the last 2 years preparing for in school) feels soul crushing because it is NOT what I really want to be doing, things have been heating up. Saying what I really want has put it all on the line. It’s time to put my money where my mouth is. No pressure there…
The result of all this is that I’ve found myself challenged when it comes time to get into creative mode. I’ve avoided the studio, piled stuff high on the table so that I didn’t have to sit and work there. Frankly, it’s been freaking me out. I said “Yes I want this.” and have been running screaming ever since.
Mon capitan and I, we sat down and talked it out a little. I was finally able to articulate how scared I am of the future and of failure. Phew. There. It’s said. What if this doesn’t work? Especially since I’ve put it out there, declared my intention and gotten off to such a powerful start. Especially because everyone is watching (because, yanno, I’m putting it all out on the internet for them to see, natch). Articulating it to him helped. I figured, saying it out loud here can only help too.
Because that’s what I got from our conversation. We’re all scared of failure and maybe being a little more honest about that with each other will create stronger connections. Our tribes can hold us up or we can let our fear of what they think drag us down. Well me, I choose up.
Thinking it through a little more, I was reminded that courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is stepping into the scary stuff even though you are shaking in your boots.
What’s that cliché? “The only way out is through.” There’s also the classic, “Every journey starts with one step.”
One foot in front of the other. One action at a time. It is time to take action.
So here’s my question, my challenge to you. Reach out to someone in your tribe and tell them what scares you about your life, success, whatever. And see if together you can come up with one step, just one, that you can take to address that fear. Leave me a comment, let me know. I’m really curious. What tools will you use to work with that?
So the other nagging issue… what’s up with the blog? Well I am finding that trying to do 3-4 quality posts a week is adding to my list of crazypants, anxiety inducing stuff. In light of that, and because this space too (like everything else) is a work in progress, I’m trying a new approach. Look for new Honey & Ollie content on Mondays and Fridays. There will still be art journaling, mandala making, more LA Stories, more shiny pretty things, thinky thoughts and humor. I’m also looking forward to having a featured guest artist from time to time. I’m really excited about some of the people you’ll be seeing here over the next few months.
Check back here on Friday, I’ve got a fun tutorial planned and I think you’re gonna love it!!