The Olympics end tomorrow. I checked the official site. I’m all good. I am GOLDEN. I made it. WOOHOO!
Knitting Curmudgeon was talking about the Knitting Olympics a few posts back and was not personally keen on the idea but said something in comments about wanting to know what knitters got out of it, what the point was, was there a point? I don’t wanna spam her journal because lordie, talk about a shitstorm when you throw the rock of dissent into a pool of knitters who are all happily in agreement. Crazy stuff, yo. But here’s my answer to that, this post, the one preceding and probably one or two after. Here is what I personally got out of the whole process, which I would have learned anyway, but because of the spirit of fun, competition with myself and the clock, blahblahdeeblah, I learned faster than I would have if left to my own devices.
In which we continue the Litany Of Woe And Talk About Being Lame And Things I Have Learned…
Another very important thing I learned is the importance of a S-E-L-V-E-D-G-E S-T-IT-C-H or rather, selvedge stitch in normal parlance when I’m not drawing my words out for dramatic effect. Say there was a back panel and when I was decreasing on said back panel, I did not k1, k2tog, k to end. Say instead, I k2tog, k to end, instead. That? That there would be missing the selvedge stitch point. Having never put together a sweater or garment, this escaped me and I did not rip back and redo. On later raglan decreases, I actually read the directions all the way through and so decreased appropriately and had the selvedge and we were all good.
I am one of those stupid people who often must make the mistake that she just got told how not to make, before she realizes the point of not making that mistake. Fire hot. That dog bites. You need a selvedge stitch. Okay fine, no no, just go on. Get burned, the dog is going to bite your butt and your seams will look totally lame. I’ll just be here when you are done.
Say it with me. Selvedge stitch. Seeeelvedge stitch. You want one. It means you have a place to seam and your garment will not make you say “Hold the phone, OMGWTF, what is up with that?” when you are done. Or maybe you will, but it will be for some other reason and I can’t help you with that.
Say also that the book says k1, k2tog tbl on one side of the back panel, but say I missed that tbl part and so knit into the front of the loops. This means that I have about two inches of decreases that do not look like they ought. Which is when I read the actual instruction and said “Oh, hell. It’ll be fine. I don’t want to rip all that back.”
Okay. The MOST IMPORTANT THING that I have learned?
READ THE F*CKING DIRECTIONS, YOU YARNPIRATE. You are so not able to “just sorta wing it” right now. Read. The. Directions. All. Of. Them. Now, read them again. Yarrr.
Also? When you say “Oh it’ll be fine. Hell. I don’t wanna rip.”, when you say that? You’re being lame. It will not be fine. Yes, hell. Yes. Hell. We all know. Frogging blows donkeys for wooden nickels. Rip back anyway. Because honeychile, I am here to tell you that all those places you said, “nobody will know, I’m not ripping back.” will be glaringly apparent when you go to make up the garment and you will weep and RUE your lazyass not ripping back it’ll be fine nobody’ll notice ways. You will weep bitter tears of woe.
Sweater done, ends woven, washing and buttons yet to do, but I made it. Probably yet more Litany Of Lameness to come as I continue my post-games sweater analysis.