Well hold the phone there, Ms. Kerrigan…

The Olympics end tomorrow. I checked the official site. I’m all good. I am GOLDEN. I made it. WOOHOO!

Knitting Curmudgeon was talking about the Knitting Olympics a few posts back and was not personally keen on the idea but said something in comments about wanting to know what knitters got out of it, what the point was, was there a point? I don’t wanna spam her journal because lordie, talk about a shitstorm when you throw the rock of dissent into a pool of knitters who are all happily in agreement. Crazy stuff, yo. But here’s my answer to that, this post, the one preceding and probably one or two after. Here is what I personally got out of the whole process, which I would have learned anyway, but because of the spirit of fun, competition with myself and the clock, blahblahdeeblah, I learned faster than I would have if left to my own devices.

In which we continue the Litany Of Woe And Talk About Being Lame And Things I Have Learned…

Another very important thing I learned is the importance of a S-E-L-V-E-D-G-E S-T-IT-C-H or rather, selvedge stitch in normal parlance when I’m not drawing my words out for dramatic effect. Say there was a back panel and when I was decreasing on said back panel, I did not k1, k2tog, k to end. Say instead, I k2tog, k to end, instead. That? That there would be missing the selvedge stitch point. Having never put together a sweater or garment, this escaped me and I did not rip back and redo. On later raglan decreases, I actually read the directions all the way through and so decreased appropriately and had the selvedge and we were all good.

I am one of those stupid people who often must make the mistake that she just got told how not to make, before she realizes the point of not making that mistake. Fire hot. That dog bites. You need a selvedge stitch. Okay fine, no no, just go on. Get burned, the dog is going to bite your butt and your seams will look totally lame. I’ll just be here when you are done.

Say it with me. Selvedge stitch. Seeeelvedge stitch. You want one. It means you have a place to seam and your garment will not make you say “Hold the phone, OMGWTF, what is up with that?” when you are done. Or maybe you will, but it will be for some other reason and I can’t help you with that.

Say also that the book says k1, k2tog tbl on one side of the back panel, but say I missed that tbl part and so knit into the front of the loops. This means that I have about two inches of decreases that do not look like they ought. Which is when I read the actual instruction and said “Oh, hell. It’ll be fine. I don’t want to rip all that back.”

Okay. The MOST IMPORTANT THING that I have learned?

READ THE F*CKING DIRECTIONS, YOU YARNPIRATE. You are so not able to “just sorta wing it” right now. Read. The. Directions. All. Of. Them. Now, read them again. Yarrr.

Also? When you say “Oh it’ll be fine. Hell. I don’t wanna rip.”, when you say that? You’re being lame. It will not be fine. Yes, hell. Yes. Hell. We all know. Frogging blows donkeys for wooden nickels. Rip back anyway. Because honeychile, I am here to tell you that all those places you said, “nobody will know, I’m not ripping back.” will be glaringly apparent when you go to make up the garment and you will weep and RUE your lazyass not ripping back it’ll be fine nobody’ll notice ways. You will weep bitter tears of woe.

Sweater done, ends woven, washing and buttons yet to do, but I made it. Probably yet more Litany Of Lameness to come as I continue my post-games sweater analysis.


About Maia Rainwood

Owner and Maker at Maia Rainwood Design. Wearable art for wise women, birth keepers, witches, and world-builders.
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8 Responses to Well hold the phone there, Ms. Kerrigan…

  1. Z says:

    You actually RIP? I was taught to de-knit and there are just times when I cannot figure out how to DO that with dpns and so I choose to go on. When I rip, I invariably have to start over because I drop too many stitches when I try to get the needles back in. Ick. In any event, my Olympic experience was, as yours, a learning experience. In the Worlds next month? My sock will be the best that ever was and it’s all thanks to the Olympics šŸ˜€

  2. Will Pillage For Yarn says:

    Yeah, if I weren’t swatching for Rogue now (my Knitpicks yarn got here today, woohoo!) I would probably reknit this sucker to apply what I learned. And I have 3 skeins of this cotton in “chilli” to do so later. Phwoar. I think, like you, this was all about the valuable learning experience, though I seriously think your sock looks fine and I didn’t notice that it doesn’t have a heel, not at all! šŸ˜› If you hadn’t told me? I’d never know. Vive le TUBE, yo.

    To rip or not to rip. Yeah, depending on the error? I rip. If I notice it half a row or a row back, I’ll tink (knit, backwards) it, sure. If it’s 2 or more rows back? Let the rippage commence. If I’m doing lace or something complicated, I’ll use a lifeline to help with getting stitches back on my needle, but otherwise I’m pretty good at getting ’em all back where they ought to be.

  3. Z says:

    Not me man. I bow before you YarnPirate šŸ™‚ I am not worthy!!! My KnitPicks came today too!!! Weeeee! I got three different self striping and a lovely set of size 1 dpns to work with…ye gods are they little tiny!

  4. Will Pillage For Yarn says:

    It’s funny, you’ll get so used to knitting with the ickle needles that using the big ones will totally feel funny.

    Which sock yarns did you get? I’m dying to know how they knit up, I haven’ tried the KP yarns for socks yet.

  5. Z says:

    I got Vineyard, Crayons and Sweet Tarts in their Simple Stripes collection. A friend was oggling Snapdragon so that will come next…I am almost done with the first Curling Sock and then I will do the second to make my VERY.FIRST.PAIR!!!!!!! Then I can start with the striping. VERY cool.

  6. Will Pillage For Yarn says:

    Oh I like those. I was checking out the Vineyard colorway the other day for socks. I might get a few skeins once I whittle down the current sock yarn stash a wee.

    I *did* get 3 skeins of merino laceweight from them in Vineyard and it is absolutely STUNNING.

  7. Moze says:

    [sarcasm]Isn’t it nice that some people are so far advanced that they don’t need to learn anything and can’t see an opportunity to learn when it’s blogged right in front of them?[/sarcasm]

  8. Will Pillage For Yarn says:

    Moze, you mean the KC? If you read the comments thread on that post, it’s kind of interesting. It’s funny – about 97% of the time I love the curmudgeonlyness. She’s got great technical stuff on her blog and is quite often teh funneh.

    I really only take exception to being called a sheep, and because well, I’m not a sheep. I may opt to participate in something that looks good to me. And that’s fine, thanks. So I find it vaguely insulting that it is implied that I’m some wooly headed joiner because I found value in joining something like this.

    In the end, though, it must be asked. What do I care if some total stranger on teh intarwebs thinks something or not? I’ve never met her. She doesn’t know me. She is one voice in a bajillion and it is totally her opinion. Not my reality.

    I’m trying to put together something in my head about the internet connecting us to people and the communities we form there and how they relate to community in the physical world. Because there is total overlap between the two, sure. Voices on the internet become tangible flesh and blood connections when we meet. So this person who is only part of my online community, the community I have chosen to read and hear, voices an opinion. It really only affects me in cyberspace. Why then, do I get pissy about it in the meat world? It is a conundrum.

    Vague thoughts, no point. Maybe I’ll have a point later.

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