It’s a good idea to stop knitting lace when you have frogged back to your lifeline 3x in one repeat and it’s after 10pm and you are tired. Trust me on this one.

Some ideosyncrasies a la Yarn Pirate:
1. I am really prone to picking up regional speech variations. Dialect, cadence, pitch, tone, rhythm, accent, slang – you name it. If I’m with Texans, I sound Texan. If I’m with my Aussie, I go all Aussie, mate. Ditto anything else. And when I’m drunk? Pure Southern Belle. Do. Not. Know. Why. Also? Various expressions and phrases will just, stick with me. 13 years after living with Texans, I still pepper my speech liberally with “y’all” and the plural, “y’all’s”. Plus, the Aussie stuck me with “I beg your nose?” Yeah, it’s silly.

2. I have to drink my coffee before I can do anything else in the morning, and while I drink it, I must sit on the right side of the sofa and I must check my email. My coffee must be in the blue moth mug or in the brown faire mug. 1/2 cup vanilla soymilk, two sugars and strong coffee from the press. Then, my loyal subjects may speak to me. Until then, if they transgress, off with they little haids.

3. I can’t knit in the quiet, but I also can’t knit to certain noises. Television is best, but not if it’s too riveting. Movies are subjective – depends on the film. Video games being played by the husband are right out. Ethereal goth, fine, but stompy industrial, no go. Silence, bad. I drop stitches.

4. I sleep with a very squashy old teddy bear on top of my head. Seriously. If he’s not there, I can’t sleep.

5. There is only one way to eat a HoHo. First HoHo in the package, you carefully peel the chocolate coating from around the midsection. Then, you nibble the chocolate off the ends. Then, unroll the cake carefully and lick the cream filling and THEN you may eat the cake. Just stuff the remaining HoHo’s in, any way you can. KitKat bars have a similar protocol.

Carry on.


About Maia Rainwood

Owner and Maker at Maia Rainwood Design. Wearable art for wise women, birth keepers, witches, and world-builders.
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1 Response to

  1. Rachel says:

    #5 fits me to a tee except all must be eaten in that fashion. Not just the first.

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